That knock on the door comes and the dreaded papers to appear in family court have arrived. You open them and start reading the papers. Before you know it you have read the first lie, then the next and then the next. You are angry, hurt and most of all you feel completely alone. You keep reading and come to what orders your ex is seeking and you feel your world as you know it completely crumble. All you want to do is scream, cry and run away. Surely no court would believe this and they will listen to what you have to say and everything will be alright. You contact a lawyer or legal aid to try and get someone to help represent you. If this does not work you know you will be self representing.
If you do have a lawyer you turn to them for answers in putting your response together which brings up a lot of bad memories all while trying to keep things as normal as possible for the child/ren because that's what mums do.
You look around for support and notice people who you consider friends vanish in front of you. Your family doesn't understand or maybe do not support you and you start to feel even more alone. You go looking for support on the net and come across groups who are supposedly offering support for all single parents. This is not the case unfortunately because you are a woman you are in the wrong and are stopping your ex having access to his children which is after all his god given right. You start to question yourself and the feeling of isolation becomes worse.
NEWS FLASH
You are not alone at all. There are mums out there who are going through the same thing as you are but because of section 121 of the family law act most mothers are gagged and cant share their story. There are support networks out there for mothers it takes a while to find them. I know as I am one of these mums. I was lucky enough to find support and hope you do too. You will need to be careful about how you look for support. Remember the gag act. Do no use your real name and be very careful. There are people out there who will pretend to care and then turn on you often providing your ex with details for him to use against you. Never reveal any specific information about your case to anyone even people you trust
Some tips on finding support services include:
Contacting women and children's centre's in your state. They have social workers who can offer some much needed relief
Facebook groups - Keep searching groups for family law support (DO NOT USE YOUR REAL NAME USE AN ALIAS). Once you find some groups through Facebook be careful especially if the page is against the new Family Violence bill being passed. These are usually father rights group who pretend to want to help but they don't.
Search google for single mothers groups and keep digging through the endless sites which support father's rights you will find some (I did after many hours of trying)
Read blogs like this and others which offer resources to assist you in your fight
* Visit Mother and Children advocate pages *
My advice keep looking for and asking for support hopefully you will find it like I did. Your closest allies are other mothers going through the same thing you are going through. They know how you feel. They too know the hell that you are experiencing and some are willing to help others in the same situation.
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