Let's be honest here. No one actually wins in the family court system. Every body loses something. But most importantly the children lose. They lose their right to speak, they lose part of their childhood and they lose when it comes to being able to make decisions about their lives.The children lose the most and it needs to stop.
These decisions are taken from children and given to adults who have never met the child or even interviewed the child. These people decide what is best for a child who they see as just a number or a pay check. Does anyone understand how unfair this is??? Not all children should get a say as a baby can not decide on what they want but the court needs to view each case as individual and stop trying to push something square into the round window of a quick fix. I know many children who are very capable of communicating what they want and need and they are being denied their right to do so. Why??? Because according to the court system children under the age of about 8-12 can not understand the consequences of their decisions. NEWS FLASH. Children learn about decision making every day in their live and the consequences of making such decisions. Again this needs to be looked at individually as all children are different.
Why is it that the family court which is suppose to be there to protect children are the ones who are actually failing them??? How can a system which is applied to every case regardless of the facts, work to protect children??? You walk into a court and you actually have to prove that shared care will be detrimental to a call beyond reasonable doubt. Stuff the fact that abuse has occurred and the other parent has no relationship with the child. That means nothing. In most cases shared care is awarded regardless of what has occurred before getting to court because judges are using a band aide effect on all cases presented before them. Then when things go completely wrong they may consider changing the orders if you are not to blame for shared care not working.
How is shared care in the best interest of the child??? Is it really the best interest of the child to live one week in a home which has one set of rules and expectations with minimal contact from the other parent and then just as they are settling in have to pack their things into a bag and change homes again??? Is this really providing a stable environment for children to live in??? How is this not child abuse??? I am not saying it doesn't work for all children when both parents get along and share the same parenting techniques and are able to communicate effectively with each other. Let's face it though how many people who are court ordered into shared care able to communicate effectively???
Children are the ones who are losing the most when their parents are feuding in the family court system and this needs stop. I am not blaming anyone, I am blaming the laws. The majority of cases which end up in front of a judge involve some sort of family violence and this is not being addressed. I am not against decent fathers and men being involved in their children's lives. Let's face it most mothers aren't. I am against abusive men using the system to continue the abuse.
I as a mother in the family court hell has been judged saying I am as bad as my ex because I refuse to hand over the child to a man who abused drugs and alcohol, abused me in front of the child, abused the child and now is verbally abusing the child during contact visits and still trying to control my life. Guess what, you don't know my situation, you don't know my ex and you sure as hell don't know what my child wants. My child has been brought up to contribute to decisions which ultimately effect the child's life. Will the courts allow this child to take part in decisions about the child's life??? No because the child is almost 7 years old so according to the court is not mature enough to participate in decisions which will effect the child's life forever.
Do the courts care what children want??? Ultimately no they don't if it does not match with what the law says has to happen. My child wants nothing to do with dad. Why??? Because he denies the child a childhood and because he continues to tell the child what a bad mother I am. Do let me forget that he attempts to buy the child with gifts and bribe the child with the fact that if the child refuses to see dad the child will not be allowed to have a relationship with his niece and nephew. What does my child say to this??? Keep your presents I don't want them and I do not care if I don't have a relationships with your family who until court ordered had nothing to do with me or my life.
So who is going to put children first??? Not the courts that's for sure and not the people the courts appoint to be ICL or family planner as they can not fit a square solution into a round law.
Everyday of my life, I put my child's rights, needs and wants before my own and for this my child and I will be punished as my child will realise that what I have been teaching them means shit in the real world and ultimately adult males needs, wants and rights are put before that of the child.
No comments:
Post a Comment